Looking back at my six plus years in CrossFit as both an athlete and a coach, it’s interesting to revisit my journey. I went from a Globo Gym, hard-headed, not going to do your “cheating pullups” knucklehead, to a full-fledged, Kool-Aid drinking, card carrying (CF1) member of the most popular cult in the world (sorry Tom Cruise). I went from a Chuck Taylor only closet, to buying five sets of Reeboks (Three Nano 5.0’s, Nano Pumps, and Speed TR 1’s) overnight. So of course, sooner or later I would try the functional fitness “go-to” the No Bull Trainer.

I have to say, after all these years of CrossFit, and all the shoes I’ve tried, I’ve never worn a more mediocre, trash pair of gym shoes in my life. I know a lot of you just got triggered and I hope you hear me out rather than just yell “fake news” and run to your “safe space.” I used to be a believer too, but now I’m all grown up. Today I revisit this dumpster fire of a shoe.

Pride. Well it’s a MF. I think pride is where the so-called “love” for these trainers comes from. They are overly expensive at $160, but those who love them will tell you it’s worth it for their strength and durability. I guess when you buy anything overpriced, you’re going to have to justify it somehow. They do after all have a “seamless one-piece construction of super fabric…” blah, blah, effing blah. What they don’t tell you is that they feel like strapping two 2×4’s to your feet when you run, or that they don’t fit true to size, or that returning them is an absolute pain in the ass (truthfully, it may be easier now, but honestly I don’t care).

Every experience I’ve witnessed with these shoes, goes as follows. Someone orders them, swears they love them, then a few months later they’re inevitably wearing Metcon’s or Nano’s again. I’ve seen them up for a sale in less than a day because, “I need to order a larger pair,” then, no new pair follows. These shoes are expensive and I think therein lies the problem. At $160 a crack, they’re by no means cheap, and for something you can’t try on in advance, that’s quite the risk.

Yes, I know they have several pair that are cheaper. Yes, I know they have their famous “Black Friday” deal where an all-black pair runs you $99. But if that deal is so good, how come when I look around the three boxes I frequent, I never see a pair of them? I think the proof is in the proverbial pudding. These shoes are absolutely awful compared to what you can get for half or even less of the cost. But we take pride in everything, including our mistakes (especially those regarding large sums of money), and pride my friends, is why you can’t admit they are just the worst thing ever.

Maybe someday I’ll put away my own pride and try a second pair. But today?

Doubtful.
Full Disclosure: I used to think these shoes were great… I too was justifying that $160 price tag I guess.